Friday, March 30, 2012

Your Forty-first Assignment: Server Types and You!

Where in the hell are we cipher?

They call it a 'renaissance fair.'  It's like nothing I've ever seen before.

Why are those Ugnaughts trying to sell us 'vittles?'

I don't know, Kaliyo.  Just keep walking and don't make eye contact.


Lock and load, agents!  Today we're going to talk about servers, realms, shards, blades, whatever you like to call 'em ... and what the different types mean!

So, it's no secret.  I play on an RP server because, frankly, I like the people, pace, and attitude you generally find.  RP servers seem, at least to me, to have helpful, friendly players who are not, in most cases, absolute asshats.  This is not the perception of RP servers though.  You may be new to TOR, or perhaps looking for a change of pace from your current server.  Today I'll provide you with a helpful guide on what the perception and the reality is of these servers and what type of behavior you can expect.  Let's dig in!


PERCEPTION OF RP SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Twinkletoes: Greetings, my lord!  How doth thoust adventuring go?  Doth now be privy to cybering with thine?  I say speak quickly!  An appointment with thine queen awaits!
[1 .General] Bandersnatch: top or bottom?
[1 .General] Powermongrel: i liek erpz!


ACTUAL RP SERVERS

[1. General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Bobafatt: sure, I'm in!
[1 .General] Stinkfinger: Could you use an inquisitor?
[1 .General] Arthaslol: i've got that one, toss an invite?
[1 .General] Mit'thraw'nuodo: got room?
[1 .General] Bobafatt: all full, sorry.  plus we can't spell your name lol


PERCEPTION OF PVE SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help with Old Friends?
[1 .General] Nub'blaster: sorry, i'm too busy being a progression raider.  have you cleared soa nightmare yet?  because i did.  at level 10.
[1 .General] Paragonboy: have you watched the video?  nub
[1 .General] Betamaster: i soloed that quest at level 1, you idiot.  please do research before you play a game.


ACTUAL PVE SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Pandablaster: l2play nub
[1 .General] Darthdarth:[Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]
[1 .General] Darthskittles: ANAL [Force Scream]
[1 .General] Frodolives: fuck you darth!  fucking WoW fanboi!
[1 .General] Arthasdklol: wow is better than this crappy game
[1 .General] Revanite: oh go screw yourself, this game is better in every possible way

*3 hours later*

[1 .General] Revanite: and that's why bioware's quest design is superior
[1 .General] Arthasdklol: your just mad cuz you suck at wow
[1 .General] Revanite: omg ur dumb!
[1 .General] Whinerluke: can i just get help on Old Friends please?
[1 .General] Darthskittles: no.


PERCEPTION OF PVP SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Dickwolf: FUCK NO FUCKIN DIE FUCK FUCK YEAH
[1 .General] Imba: all u nobz nede 2 lrn how 2 pvp u fuckin dum shits
[1 .General] Ragernator: hell no you nub fuckin do it urself haha nubz
[1 .General] Jedihater: i'll help u whinerluke ... help u fuck urself!  LOLOLOLZ


ACTUAL PVP SERVERS

Okay, in this case perception IS reality.


PERCEPTION OF RP-PVP SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Generalgravy: sure, and after that we can sally forth to destroy the Republic!
[1 .General] Whinerluke: i really just want help on this quest and that's it
[1 .General] Generalgravy: yes, but after we're done we'll sally forth!
[1 .General] Whinerluke: yeah, whatever
[1 .General] Sabermaster: do you like erp?


ACTUAL RP-PVP SERVERS

[1 .General] Whinerluke: hey, can i get some help on Old Friends?
[1 .General] Sausagelover: sure i'll help
[1 .General] Treya: me too
[1 .General] Sausagelover: OMG IS TREYA A GIRL
[1 .General] Treya: i know where this is going
[1 .General] Minmaxer: wait, there's a girl playing TOR?
[1 .General] Banhammered: no fucking way, seriously?
[1 .General] Treya: yes, i'm a girl and yes i play mmos and no it shouldn't be a shock to you neanderthals
[1 .General] Sausagelover: wanna erp?
[1 .General] Minmaxer: gangbang!
[1 .General] Whinerluke: i hate this game.

Best of luck on your server choices!  Personally, I'd go RP-PVP because I heard there was a girl there.

Fly safe, shoot straight!  For the glory of the Empire!

5 comments:

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the servers. I laughed really hard at the actual PvE server one. I tend to always go for the PvP servers personally just because I like the idea that I since there is an enemy faction I can be attacked at any time during open world play. Sure it sucks to get ganked while questing but I just write that persons name down and crush them later. Ganking is lame anyway, I mean wow you are 10 levels above me and I can't even hit you hard... fun... Not. But anyway great post.

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    1. As long as you're not named Dickwolf, Ragernator, or Jedihater, you should be ok. Those guys are asshats.

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  2. By far the BEST post I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laughs, I think I hurt myself. :D

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  3. Personally, I'd go RP-PVP because I heard there was a girl there.

    You're too funny! XD I also like the subtle touches, such as that the "are you a girl" guy is called Sausagelover. :P

    On a more serious note, as someone who used to play on a quiet RP server in WoW, I was pleasantly surprised by my SWTOR PvE server. Yeah, you do get the occasional whiner in chat, but on the whole people are still pretty decent, and the ratio of good names to really dumb names is still a lot better than I expected.

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  4. LOVED IT...so true in many ways.

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