Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Your Forty-second Assignment: Patchenstein

Look at the size of that thing.

You like 'em big, eh Kaliyo?

Shut up, cipher.  Seriously, look how big that thing is.  It'll take forever to unravel.

Not to worry.  Turns out my family will be able to help out ...

*** UPDATE: Patch 1.2 CONFIRMED for Thursday, April 12th! ***

Lock and load, agents!  You ever get stuff tha goes on in your life that prevents you from doing what you like to do?  The past two weeks have been a meat-grinder at work; that explains the paucity of my posting.  I hope to get that fixed this week.  Now, on to the important stuff!

Soon, very soon, we will be assaulted mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually by PATCHENSTEIN 1.2: THE PATCHENING, also known as Patch 1.2.  Today we'll go through some of the major changes coming in 1.2 and what you can reasonably expect to see ... well, see sometime in April.  If they don't push it back.  Cuz this damn patch is huge, ya'll.  Like, really huge.  PATCHENSTEIN 1.2: THE PATCHENING huge!  So huge, it'll be split into two films, PATCHENSTEIN: THE PATCHENING and PATCHENSTEIN 2: ELECTRIC PATCHENSTEIN BOOGALOO!

Ok, but seriously this thing is massive.  So massive, in fact, that I worry about the first day stability of the game.  Here are the patch notes from the community site; I'll summarize the interesting points below.

Interesting Point the First - Legacy

The part of 1.2 that seems to be getting the most buzz is the Legacy system.  This system will provide you a way to give your characters perks based on your legacy level.  Legacy level is that little purple bar under your xp bar the behaves a lot like your xp bar but is in fact not a regular xp bar but a legacy xp bar, making it much more legaciar.  Before, it did nothing except broadcast to you how much of a life a you don't have.  Now, it'll give you bonuses and perks for being a no-life loser!

But seriously, let's hit the big points of the Legacy thingie.  Firstly, if you have reached level 50 on one character, that character's race will be unlocked for all character classes.  If you have reached it with a human (who is available to all classes already), you'll get a Presence buff apparently.  As you are obviously already a Chiss Agent, this means that the Chiss will be unlocked for all classes (helloooo Chissquisitor!).  If you're not a Chiss Agent ... seriously, what the fuck's wrong with you?

Secondly, the legacy system will give you access to cool stuff like mail boxes and training dummies on your ship, a rocket boost, class abilities that you can share among all your characters, special emotes, and most importantly, a restraining bolt for your ship droid.

That's right, a restraining bolt.  To shut that fucking droid up.  Hallelujah.

Interesting Point the Second - Ops, Flashpoints, and PVP, Oh My!

Patch 1.2 gives us a nice little taste of a new operation, Explosive Conflict, a new PVP warzane, Novare Coast, and a new flashpoint, something about rakghouls.  Ok, sorry, I just can't possibly give a fuck about rakghouls, ok?  I hated them in KOTOR, I hated them in TOR on Taris, and I hate them now.  It's goddamn rakghouls, that's it.  They run stupid and I hate the noises they make, so screw them.  The operation, Explosive Conflict, is much more exciting.  Apparently some Trandoshans are getting frisky in light of all the recent open warfare, and a Trando leader (forgot his name, but he probably has a lot of repeating ssss in it) found an artifact that gives him power.  Probably like the Dragon Scroll in Kung Fu Panda (which I heard Blizzard is basing an entire expansion on ... just a joke, sheesh!).  The new op sounds fun and interesting and it's probably much less of a buggy hell-pit than Eternity Vault.  I hope.  Oh, and there's a new warzone on the planet Denova or something with some objectives I won't understand.  I suck at PVP.

Interesting Point the Third - Talent Resets!

Most of the advanced classes are changing so radically that players are being refunded their talent points.  This is very exciting news as it means I can finally ditch that horrible Ambush pushback talent and get something else instead.  They're also changing Sniper Volley so that it triggers more as well as reworking some other stuff, specifically Entrench (now protects up to 60% of AOE damage) to give Snipers less mobility-based problems.  That's nice of them.  Once I get a feel for the new abilities, I'll be updating my skill priority list for operations as well as previewing some new gear.  Oh, and the gear looks horrid.  No, seriously.  Agents got screwed.  We went from castoff Mortal Kombat characters to weird kleenex-faced goons.  It's not an improvement.

Interesting Point the Fourth - Something New!

Shit fuck almighty, it's just nice to have something new to do.  Look, Bioware's trying hard and I really appreciate it.  I really do.  But we've been sitting on the same old content for a while and honestly, it's just so nice to have some new shinies to look at.  Legacy.  Talents.  Ops.  FPs.  PVP.  Stuffffff.  Just new stuff.  Yay!

A word of warning; the patch is about a gig so give yourself some time to get it downloaded.  I'll see y'all on Thursday!  Fly safe, shoot straight!  For the glory of the Empire!


  1. Update is confirmed for March 12? Sure you don't mean April 12?

    1. Clearly, I am a traveller from the past and that explains that ... yeah ... why the date ... is wrong ... dammit.


  2. I am super excited for the UI customization, Legacy unlocks and all the crafting changes. This is going to be a busy week...