Monday, March 25, 2013

BIG NEWS REVEALED! *Update*


At noon eastern, a few TOR sites will be releasing big news!  Makeb release date?  The long-rumored 'secret space project?'  Cathar?  More Cartel packs?  Barbershop functionality?  Server transfers?  2.0 launch details?  WHO KNOWS?!!?!

Stay tuned here for the best and most hilariously overblown reactionary report coverage of the reports that will be reported on after the report deadline related to the reporting of reports!

STAAAY TUUUUUUUUNED!

*UPDATE! 9:13am ET*

We're less than 3 hours away from the reporting deadline pertaining to the reaction of reported reports about TOR.  TORGate is in full swing.  Here at Imperial Intelligence, we're dedicated to bringing you the absolutely most up-to-date information regarding any sort of release made about TORGate.  Keep checking back to see the most ridiculously overblown coverage of this ever-expanding scandal/revolution.

Will we find out the release date for the new expansion?  Will we finally have server transfers?  Will we ultimately know the sexual orientation of jawas as it pertains to the new same-gender romance options in the digital expansion?  Will Master Satele Shan respond to the scathing reports of Republic indifference on Balmorra?  Will Darth Malgus wear Armani at the premiere of Makeb?  Will we finally get to axe-murder Tharan Cedrax, winner of the latest "Most Annoying Thing in the Universe" poll after narrowly beating herpes and George Lucas?  And we'll have new Makeb cooking tips from everyone's favorite chef, Bowdaar!

STAAAY TUUUUUUUUUUUUNED!

*UPDATE 11:59am ET*

ITS ALMOST HERE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

*UPDATE 12:01pm ET*

MAKEB RELEASE DATE OMG OMG OM GOM GOMGOGMOGMOGMGOGOMGGOMGOG

APRIL 9TH EARLY ACCESS!
APRIL 14TH LAUNCH!

AND THAT'S IT REALLY!

OMG INFO WE ALREADY SORTA FIGURED OUT TOTALLY CONFIRMED BY BIOWARE OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGOMGMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

*UPDATE 12:33pm ET*

So, I was reading a snippet from this article over at Darth Hater, and I saw this during the interview with Bruce Maclean (no relation to John Maclean of Die Hard fame).

  • Where does the development team stand with regards to individual class stories?  Are these still a priority for upcoming content?
Great question.  The way you choose to overcome your own personal villains is a crucial part of what defines your character, and once you’ve gotten closure on your personal story, you’re ready to be a key player in the larger conflicts that threaten the Empire and the Republic.  Moving forward, we’re focusing on those stories – conflicts that decide the fate of the entire Galaxy and demand the attention of other living legends like yourself.  You can still put your personal touch on these stories, and you’ll develop relationships just like before, but now the stakes are higher, and the experience can be shared with your friends.
So, basically, fuck your class story.  Fuck it in its tender, sweet asshole.  So ends the grand class story experiment in TOR.  Guess it was fun while it lasted.  Now we're gonna have 'awesome stories to share with our friends!'  HOW AWESOME.

owait its not.

It's the TOR version of Zoey Saldane!
Targeter News Network, reporting in!

3 comments:

  1. Show of hands from everyone who didn't see this coming

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  2. They did rather write themselves into corners with some of the class stories. I can't help wondering if that's not one of the reasons they abandoned them. (Though, hell, they gave one class story a potential ending that really makes nothing that follows make any sense. Good to know that erasing one's identity actually does nothing!)

    Logic aside, I can't help being... not disappointed, because I was kind of expecting this, but sad. I'd rather have more class story. :( Even if there's almost no possible way to write it sensibly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It comes down to money. Voice record for 1 class story multiply that cost by 8 classes. Then double it- for male/female voice work for all that content. Then NPC voice work as well.

    ReplyDelete